The Bourgeois Black Girl’s Guide to Wearing a “Natural”: The Finale

A week has gone by and I haven’t died. I haven’t called my stylist for an emergency appointment.   I haven’t straightened my hair. It has however, been the longest 7 days of my life.

Day 7: Am I wrong for humming “Started from the bottom now we’re here…” while untwisting my hair this morning. Last night I cut my twisting time from 35 minutes to 20 minutes.  That is change we can believe in.  And untwisting this morning only took 15 minutes! I’m a pro. Experiment OVER. Back to work and today no one speaks a word. My boss, a white man, who has been on vacation comes back tanned. I say “Look who got some sun!” His reply, “Oh looks like you did too!” Huh? I certainly have not. That’s the best he can do when he sees my new hair. He thinks I look blacker. O_o

End of the week and the last day.

End of the week and the last day.

Well I had 2 more days to wear this hair this way because I didn’t have a hair appointment until Wednesday. And although I didn’t detail my notes, I can update you by saying on that last day I looked a WRECK.  I was mentally back to day 1 where I was nearly in tears. But what saved me? I let go of the need for perfection….because I had no choice. I was Curly Sue in the front and Homeless Harry in the back. And no amount of tucking, fluffing, or picking would help.  So I tried all I could and then left the mirror, and the house, and eventually slinked into my cube and prayed that my day would fly by until I could go to the salon. But the point is, I made it out. I bit the bullet. I had achieved, even a minimal, IDGAF. And that was enough progress for me.

When I started this project, I didn’t intend for it to unearth my opinions or insecurities about hair. I already knew what those were.  I didn’t intend for my writing about it to win me any friends in the “natural” hair community or get me a free membership to the Natural Hair Mafia.  I did intend however, to prove to myself that if I wanted to or needed to wear my hair in its un-pressed state that I could. And that I could still be cute while doing so. And that I accomplished.

I have learned that wearing my hair un-pressed isn’t for me. That was my hypothesis. And in the true form of the scientific method, my conclusion is the same.  I am a hair snob. I need my hair to be tame and perfectly coiffed (or close to it). I also like my hair to blow in the wind. And with all the curls and product and fluffed roots, I couldn’t catch a gust of wind if He who can speak to the wind and the waves whistled on my head himself.  Judge me. I like resting my head on the headboard or my car headrest without worrying that my hair will be flattened.  I also suffer from the childhood disease of “Rapunzel-itis”. You know when you put a towel on your head down your back to pretend it was your hair, and you swung it from side to side and tossed it over your shoulder? Well, I still do that. I pledged Delta 15 years ago, my line name is “White Girl”, and well, do with that what you will. Whatever. I am who I am. And I love it.

I also learned that I value my time way too much to spend it on hair. I’m not spending my Sunday as “wash day” for the week. And I don’t want to make a habit of spending an extra 30 minutes in the morning and at night trying to maintain this lifestyle.  Every once in a while or a few days before a salon visit in the summer, I will rock it! But I don’t have an extra 7-10 hours per week to devote to this. I am a sleep-until-the-last-minute kind of girl. I want to jump up, comb my hair in 4-8 minutes and be done. So the time commitment involved is a deterrent and I can own that. I can easily pay $60/week to get my hair done and make every one happy.

So now I know I CAN wear these styles and look good doing it. And I will do it again! I believe that hair is an accessory. I should be able to press it, curl it, wet it, weave it, and love it all. I should be able to change it like I change my silver earrings, high-heeled shoes, or Gucci handbag.  And I should not be judged for my choice du jour.  So if you are a card-carrying member of the NHM, heed the warning “STEP OFF”, before a band of misfits pressed girls rise up against you.  And love each woman for what she wears in her heart and not what she wears in or on her head.

Back to Black.

Back to Black.

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About Sweet Nothings

I went to college and majored and Mass Communications/Public Relations but decided to take my passion for promoting others to law school....where i could then learn to promote MYSELF! Kidding. Kind of. Now I'm a lawyer. 8 years later, big whoop and womp womp.
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8 Responses to The Bourgeois Black Girl’s Guide to Wearing a “Natural”: The Finale

  1. MsJamie14 says:

    Thank you for doing this…so I never have to! I could tell this would be your decision at the end of the week, and at the end of the day, you’re doing what’s best and easiest for you.

    That’s why I relax and will continue to do so. The reason why is simple: it’s what I’ve done for decades and it’s easy. I don’t have identity issues or am trying to be something I’m not. I like having someone who does the work for me every six weeks and I enjoy the stress free life thereafter. I don’t run from water, I don’t have to fight with my hair or find out what works for it. Heck, relaxers work for it. LOL. My grandma is 85 and still relaxes hers.

    Anywho, before I start bloggin in your comments, I really enjoyed reading about this journey and thanks for sharing.

  2. discodiva73 says:

    Very good experiment. Interesting that Jamie said she doesn’t run from water…when I was relaxed, I never let water get near me! i have been wearing my hair natural because the last time I got one, it broke off something fierce. I don’t know why people are so into what people are doing with their hair. I don’t care….at all. You like it, I love it.

    Anyway…both ways look really good on you!

  3. Tim says:

    I dont know who you are but you are BEAUTIFUL women! I like the pic of you in the yellow top but you look great in the other shots too, i like the pics where you let your hair a little looser..wow you are hot Lady!
    Tim

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