Men and Their Balls

Well its been a minute since my last post. Mostly because the disgust of the result in the Casey Anthony trial just had me a little bit jaded. But alas there is always something else in the news to bring to light, and one of those topics is the negotiation, litigation, and adjudication of our national sports figures, or as I have affectionately called it “Men and Their Balls”–football, baseball, basketball…you know what I mean.

So its very clear that the NFL Lockout has caused many of us enough stress that we may have a class action suit for intentional infliction of emotional distress looming.  But the
people it is affecting the most of course are our NFL Players, past and present, who are clearly losing their minds. Prime example being resident badyboy Pacman Jones, arrested AGAIN for the fiftyleventh time, who I would argue just doesn’t have anything better to do thanks to the failure of NFL owners and players to come to any type of agreement. But Pacman deserves his own post….just not this one.

First, we had Roy Williams, Kelly Rowland’s ex, who had all of us shaking our heads and asking “WHO DOES THAT?!” when he sent his girlfriend, former Miss Texas USA Brooke Daniels an engagement ring in the mail.  So as if seeing Kelly Rowland body roll in
her new “Motivation” video wasn’t enough salt in his wounded heart, not  only did Brooke say NO to his proposal, she refused to return the ring! Now as a woman who has broken a few hearts and returned a ring or two, I get the temptation to keep that sparkly ring,
especially this one that was allegedly worth $76,000.  But come on girl. Every lawyer I know remembers the case of the “Broken Engagement” from their first week of law
school. Although it varies by state, in most places the giving of an engagement ring is a conditional gift—the condition to be met being the actual marriage.  If Brooke doesn’t marry Roy, she has to give it back.  Apparently she didn’t get the memo. Roy Williams filed a civil suit against her to sue her for the return or value of the ring. Since then, the case was dismissed when Miss Texas’ father admitted that he in fact had possession of the ring and would agree to return it.  Good thing. We’d hate for Roy to enlist former teammate PacMan Jones to retrieve that ring. You know, he too likes trouble.

Second, we had Dancing King Hines Ward tango his way to a  DUI charge in Dekalb County, GA.

Ward was stopped by Dekalb police about a week ago at 2am where allegedly he was swerving and struck a curb in his 2009 Aston Martin (haute) with license plates that read “OOOHWEE”. Ooohwee indeed!  Now I always advise people if they get pulled
over for DUI to refuse to take the breathalyzer test and only consent to a
blood test. The theory being by the time they get you to the police station and
draw your blood, your blood alcohol content will be reduced (although it still
may be over .08 which is the legal limit). But you will still have to take
other field sobriety tests. And oooohwee. Hines Ward couldn’t say the alphabet,
couldn’t walk a straight line, or perform a walk and turn test. Although he
admitted to having 2 beers that night, his agent, Andrew Ree, stated that his
client “was not impaired by alcohol while driving”. Uh ok. A week later and
these charges have not been dropped yet, and while they might be……c’mon
son.  One thing that I have no tolerance
for is drunk drivers. He faces up to a year in jail and a $1000 fine.  On one hand, that’s cool since he’s locked
out anyway. On the other hand, lockout means no paycheck to pay that fine. Ah
well. God takes care of babies and fools—guess he gets a pass then.

And last but not least, this week 75 former NFL
players (and many of their wives) have sued the NFL and others claiming
it concealed information about the danger of concussions for decades.  According to SI.com, The
suit alleges the NFL knew as early as the 1920s of the harmful effects of
concussions but concealed them from coaches, trainers, players and the public
until June 2010.  Well I’m not a rocket
scientist. Or a medical doctor.   But I
know that you can only get your brain shaken up so many times before it takes a
toll on the body. And if nothing else, I’ve seen Dennis Quaid in the 1999
classic movie Any Given Sunday and how his concussions ended his character’s
football career, making room for my man Willie Beaman! Remember his music video?!

I digress.

I mean, isn’t this a classic “you assumed the risk” case? Probably not. But it just seems foolish to claim you didn’t know. A concussion is the movement of the brain inside the
skull caused by impact. YOUR BRAIN MOVES. You didn’t know that too much of that
was a problem? Perhaps it’s the long lasting effects that have caused you to
file this suit. Bless their hearts.

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About Sweet Nothings

I went to college and majored and Mass Communications/Public Relations but decided to take my passion for promoting others to law school....where i could then learn to promote MYSELF! Kidding. Kind of. Now I'm a lawyer. 8 years later, big whoop and womp womp.
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2 Responses to Men and Their Balls

  1. kezu says:

    Wrong Roy Williams. Kelly Rowland dated Roy Lee Williams who left the Cowboys in 2009. He is a safety (defense) in the NFL and currently plays for the Bengals.

    Current cowboy Roy Eugene Williams was the one wacky proposal. He’s a wide receiver (offense) in the NFL.

    • Geez! Thanks. I wondered how he went from ALL THAT to….well….the beauty Queen LOL. And can we get the media to call him by all 3 of his names, like John Wilkes Booth or Lee Harvey Oswald, so we the public aren’t confused. Signed, Management.

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